graduate school, sober lifestyle


Acute soreness is radiating throughout my upper body right now, from my neck down through my fingers. This is what happens when you havenโ€™t done pull-ups in a year and decide to do 20 of them on a random Tuesday morning โ€” and, it must be noted, the weight youโ€™re pulling up is not insignificant.

Iโ€™m sure I made things worse by raising my hand so damn much in Psych Theories class later that same evening. ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผโ€โ™€๏ธ

We were discussing existentialism, and if thereโ€™s anything Iโ€™m intensely passionate about, itโ€™s the inherent futility of life and all its attendant anxiety!

The idea that we are doomed to wander the planet alone, busying ourselves with punishing workouts and monotonous workdays in a search for purpose, knowing all the while that weโ€™re just marching toward the ultimate nothingness of the graveโ€ฆwell, this is something thatโ€™s been rolling around in my head since childhood.

Between episodes of โ€œMuppet Babies,โ€ playing dress-up with my American Girl doll and writing/illustrating stories about talking ladybugs, Iโ€™d occasionally get sucked up in the existential vacuum and go swirling around in the infinite abyss for a while. What kid doesnโ€™t?

Continue reading “Meaning”