In this episode, my co-host Kim and I chat about Statement #4 in the Women for Sobriety program book:
Problems bother me only to the degree I permit.
I now better understand my problems. I do not permit problems to overwhelm me.
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In this week’s episode, Kim and I break down #3 of Women for Sobriety’s 13 Acceptance Statements:
Happiness is a habit I am developing. Happiness is created, not waited for.
In this week’s episode, Kim and I break down #2 of Women for Sobriety’s 13 Acceptance Statements:
Negative thoughts destroy only myself. My first conscious sober act is to reduce negativity in my life.
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Continue reading “New podcast: “Living Sober,” Ep. 2”When I said I had been working on a podcast with a sober pal, I wasn’t kidding! Here’s the first episode of our “Living Sober” series, inspired by Women for Sobriety’s 13 Acceptance Statements and expertly produced by Kim, my co-host.
Our topic is Statement 1: I have a life-threatening problem that once had me. I now take charge of my life and my well-being. I accept the responsibility.
It was Sunday morning around 3AM, and I was more than just wide awake. I was awestruck, star-gazing from the balcony of an oceanfront room on the third floor of Turtle Bay Resort, listening to the relentless wind whip through the palms and stir up the Pacific.
Being in Hawaii was like plugging permanently into the “Calm” app, if it had an “intense” setting.
Bliss on steroids…that’s the best way I can describe my return to Oahu, where I soaked up the sun, sand, surf, seafood — and room service! — on my husband’s company dime for four lovely, lazy days. I lounged on the beach in a two-piece bathing suit in the middle of February, when I was supposed to be slaving away at work/school…and, based on the faint rumblings I heard from back home, at shoveling snow.
Continue reading “Return”Five minutes into the first class of the final semester, I realized I was done with being in school.
I mean, it was fine to be treated like a fresh-faced noob when this all started three years ago and the experience of academia as a “nontraditional student” was novel; I was so caught up in the adjustment to a full-time job/class/homework schedule that I had no perspective on anything. But to be older and wiser and sitting on achy hips in a plastic chair past my bedtime, dissecting yet another syllabus and engaging in childish icebreakers like, “Tell us what grade you want to get in this class”? 🙄
I at least tried to make this futile exercise interesting. “I’m going to say a ‘B,’ because I used to freak out about this stuff, and now, I’m trying to be more chill about everything.”
B’s, by the way, are the lowest you can go in this Master’s program and still pass, but to suggest that it’s OK to want that was apparently the wrong answer. My professor seemed taken aback, and quickly clarified: she wanted us all to be good little grade-grubbers gunning for A’s! My classmates complied, upping the absurdity ante as they went around the room: “I want an A-plus plus PLUS!” 🙄🙄🙄
The recovering perfectionist/all-or-nothing alcoholic in me wanted to scream, “WAKE UP, YE CITIZENS OF LA-LA LAND! YOU’RE BEING SOLD A LIE!”
Continue reading “Mediocrity”
I don’t really do “mindless entertainment.” I mean, I wish I could listen to music or watch TV without it turning into a full research project/forensic investigation/online novella, with sweat spilled and tears shed in the process. Alas, I’m always all-in, body and soul, on my favorite works of art, which I suppose is due to both their substance and my style. When I’m looking to lighten my mental load after a heavy day/week, I gravitate toward the rated-MA think-piece “prestige dramas” that folks love to take far too seriously.
Yes, it’s been a good, long, healthy while since my “mental obsession” for alcohol was “removed,” as AA’s sacred text puts it, but there’s plenty more obsessing where that came from! With 54 months of sobriety comes greater clarity and extra room to ruminate on minutia that makes me no money nor advances my life in any tangible way!
This weekend finds me fully immersed in the “Fargo” universe, given that my second bout of COVID happens to coincide with the climax of Season 5. I’ve been a die-hard devotee of Noah Hawley’s FX anthology for the past decade, but this is the series at its best, IMEO. (‘E’ for educated, given that I’ve probably spent more time studying this show than all my grad school counseling theories combined.)
Continue reading “Obsession”I’d love to tell you that I’ve been using my winter break from grad school to work on the capstone presentation that’s required of all master’s candidates or search for jobs I might want to apply for after graduation…but I’ve mostly been sprawled out on my couch, punching remote buttons in an escapist search for good distractions.
I’ve caught myself barking at the TV more than usual.
For example, just yesterday, I hit on a few old “Intervention” episodes where these families were desperate to get their loved ones to stop drinking. And yet, based on what the “before” scenes showed us, the parents and/or siblings had no qualms about sitting around boozing it up with the “problem drinkers” at gatherings or out at bars. I’m watching this, like, “How the hell do you expect this person to beat their addiction when you’re shoving their drug of choice — and your freedom to imbibe — in their face all the time?”
Pro tip: “Do as I say, not as I do,” is NOT an effective approach to coaxing someone into recovery.
Continue reading “Resentment”
Jen Wielgus Journalism 