
The first few pictures of me with my capstone poster showed me “smiling” with a closed mouth, and my friend called me out: “No no…let’s take a real one where you look happy!”
At that point, it hit me. 💥 🤯 I’ve been acting like a joyless ghoul over the past several months.
I’ve been a raging insecurity monster as I near the end of school and internship, having not yet secured a full-time job. I’ve been obsessively comparing myself to everyone around me and allowing my baser issues (impatience, envy, suspicion, resentment) to hijack my system. I’ve been behaving like some kind of clueless greenhorn who hasn’t been diligently studying the art of sober living, gaining clarity and awareness like a champ, developing emotional maturity (at a snail’s pace, but still…) and working her ass off, on herself, over the past five years.
Despite all my growth, I’ve not been seeking proper perspective as of late, or practicing gratitude, or enjoying the ride. In other words, I’m batting 0-for-everything that makes me my best self.
Continue reading “Joy”


